Hmm…

Forgot where I heard/got this from, but was mulling over it for quite some time…

“It’s possible to get pleasure from happiness, but rarely happiness from pleasure.” – Unknown

‘Hmm…’ indeed…

 

draft 1

Hey guys, I was thinking of putting this on the back of the shirts. Yall mind? Can you guys tell who’s who? If not, I can change it

http://dancingforyourkingdom.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/keiths-shirt-back1.jpg

 

Hi 2010

It’s been a week into ‘10, collection of ‘O’s results is just 4 days away and man, I am nervous. Thank God for my mum: she encouraged me after telling me that date of the release. Heh, that’s what mum’s are for, right? Thanks mum!

On hindsight, ‘09 was an eventful year for me, but there’s just something missing, it’s like I feel there’s more to be done before we set foot into the first decade of the second millennia. Looking at my previous post, I realised reality hadn’t quite sunken in me yet. On New Year’s, I felt nothing more than a mere robot. In all previous countdowns, I waited with baited breath for the timer to hit zero and I’d let out a shout of joy, readily embracing the coming year, looking forward to what is to come and leaving the past behind. I’d feel so happy to know I’d be older, get to experience new things and the like. I’d shake hands with everyone enthusiastically, wishing all a happy New Year’s.

This time I just felt empty. Blank.

Perhaps it’s the fear of knowing I’m moving on with my life faster than I had expected. I still very clearly remember sitting in my school hall just before PSLEs, listening to my principal’s pep talk, encouragement etc. One thing I remember so clearly like it was just yesterday was his words “In 2009(Assuming everyone went to express stream. What can I say, the man had faith in us ), you all will be graduating from secondary school, moving on to the JCs or Polytechnics. Time will pass quickly, and you won’t even feel it. Therefore I encourage you to seize every moment you have, and cherish it, for it might slip away and be lost forever.” (Well the graduating part was accurate, but the encouragement was something along those lines XD)

Indeed it has, Mr Chia. My time in SJI was so fleeting it was like having two licks of a lollipop and throwing it away. My visit to SJI on the first day of school(Sorry I had nothing better to do :/) reminded me of how much I loved the school, and how much I missed, and still miss, the place I called my second home for four years.

Thanks God for placing me in SJI. Thanks for making mum make me pick it If I hadn’t, this blog probably wouldn’t have been created, and I wouldn’t have sought a deeper relationship with You. So I give You my thanks God I’m leaving the past behind, and still looking forward to spending this year with You!

Anyways, sorry for the emo post Here are my resolutions for 2010:

1. To spend every day of 2010 with God, always seeking His way before mine, knowing Him more and treating His people with patience, kindness, compassion and respect Also to have the courage to reach out to the last, the lost and the least

2. To pursue my passions in popping, bboy, music, beatboxing, basketball and, if I can help it, long jump and sprinting, for God because He’s the one who has blessed me to be able enough to do these things

3. STRICTLY NO McDONALD’s, KFC, BURGER KING, OR FOOD FROM ANY OTHER FAST FOOD JOINT INCLUDING POPEYE’S AND CARL’S JUNIOR, except Subway, for the entire year of 2010

Hold me accountable! Sorry for the long post, but thank you if you’ve read thus far Have a very blessed 2010!

 

Merry Christmas!!

Lol it’s technically correct, since there’re 12 days of Christmas, so it ends on January 5th XD Anyways, thank God for ‘09, for all the lessons and experiences, the people I’ve come to know better, the problems, the solutions, for everything that has made ‘09 well…’09

As ‘09 comes to a close, I can’t help but to fear for ‘10. I guess it’s human nature to fear the unknown, so I wanna have faith in God that ‘10 will be another walk with Him to remember Oh man…’O’s results!!! Can’t say I’m not nervous about it as the day of collection draws even closer T.T Ah well, no matter where I may fly to, be it JC or Poly, it’s all part of God’s plan

Really wanna thank God that I’ve had the chance to experience ‘09 together with Him. Looking forward to another year well spent with You, God!!!

Thanks

 

Revealed

So much has happened in this week I can hardly believe it has only been 3 weeks after ‘O’s. I can’t even remember what I did on Monday T-T

Anyways, I have to say that so much has been revealed to me, there’s so much I’ve learned, experienced, felt etc. that it feels so surreal. However, a few things I’ve learned:

1. One can NEVER be too high to be humble or open-minded. Everybody, including leaders etc., should learn to judge less, hear and understand more and look at things from a different angle. Take chances and accept. Who knows? We may be wrong and the opposition may be right :/

2. Intro-/Retrospection is extremely important. Reflection of one’s actions tends to be minimised (sub)consciously and this should not be the case. Like what Atticus Finch/Harper Lee says in To Kill A Mockingbird, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it”. Always try to understand things from others’ perspective BEFORE judging, giving suggestions etc. Look  back on one’s own actions more, and one will realise one’s actions may not be so perfect after all. :/

3. Give others more chances. If God is so gracious to forgive us upon repentance, shouldn’t we forgive others as well?

4. I haven’t eaten CHOCOLATE for a whole week!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! T_T

Oh well, just my two cents

 

Change in perception

Boy am I glad Keith advised me to crash theology class today (Thanks Keith ). I learned so much just from the last lesson!

Previously: God, what do You want to tell me? How does this apply to me?

Now: God, what is it You want to reveal to me about YOU?

Spot the difference? I couldn’t before. I see it now. Read to find out more about God and His characteristics, instead of always placing oneself in the picture all the time.

Thanks for today’s lesson God I want to learn more about You, from You, if that’s ok with You

(I’m back to using [Randomness] to post random stuff and, well, more stuff )

 

Once again

Thanks God, for Yang Zhi who bought extra rice and gave me some of his chicken for dinner at Meridien. I was so touched when he walked back from the stall carrying the tray of food and stopped in front of me and said “Joel, I bought extra rice for you.”

I was stunned.

I was half-serious when I said I’d ‘kope’ whoever’s food I saw cos I was so hungry, and apparently Yang Zhi heard me, so he bought an extra portion.

God, teach me how to be selfless, sensitive, to share and to keep others in mind like my brother Yang Zhi. Thanks for the reminder God

 

Be thankful

I think one of the major things I’ve lost is a thankful heart. I’ve skimmed through all my previous posts, and compared them with now. I was able to thank God for the slightest things and, as I recall, they were meant from the heart. I’ve learned that God’s way of slapping things in my face is by reminding me of what I’ve learned/already heard/know.

What can I say, God reminded me about my prayer to Him to remind me of all the blessings, all the teachings, all the learning points I’ve forgotten, and I thank You, God, for Bunchana who reminded me of Your love.

Q: The funny thing when I was in the dumps?

A: I forgot :/

Thanks God for reminding Your forgetful son. No longer will I praise You with a heavy, half-a$$ed heart, but with a joyful and thankful one instead. Praise be to the One and Only AWESOME God from above.

Thanks God

Thanks for 1 Corinthians 13:8-13. Thanks for Alvern’s post that I still so clearly remember:

In the deepest valleys you can’t go any deeper, unless you dig a hole in the ground yourself.

 

Foolishness?

I remember I posted something a while back on God’s ways of answering, how I wished God slapped me in the face with direct answers and the like. I find myself doing the same thing now. How I wish God would stick it right in my face so I’d see it, but sometimes I really wonder if I’m actually opening my eyes if it’s right in front of me. God can shove it in your face, God may not, and I really wish that I could see it when He does so, but I’m just not getting any.

Foolishness? How do I really find out? What am I doing wrong? How can I make it right?

Please tell me, God. I want to come back to You and be amazed like I was just a few months ago. Open my eyes Father.

 

Old

Visited my grandma in Kwong Wai Shiu for the first time this week. Learnt some things in the 3 hours I was there.

When people say old people get lonely in this type of place, it’s an understatement. When my grandma saw me as soon as I walked into the room, the expression of relief and joy that swept across her face was a stark contrast from the dead look of loneliness she had before. I just felt so sad for the rest of the old folks in the hospital, and I understood what it meant for these people to be ‘lonely’. It isn’t the ‘aw man, no one’s around’ kind of ‘lonely’, not even close. It’s more of the ‘What the hell am I doing here. I barely talk to anyone. I barely do anything besides physio, etc. What is my life coming to? Am I going to spend my final days like this?’. This is more of what their pain feels like.

My grandma’s only staying for the day care for 2 weeks, this being her final week. These folks are probably going to stay here till death claims them. For my 4 years in SJI, we’ve been asked to donate generously to KWSH. I’ve never known where KWSH was until I moved to Boon Keng. I realised that what these people really need isn’t any more money, food, milo powder or whatever – what they need is love, the love of a family.

Honestly, how often do we think ‘Man, if I grew old and my children ditched me, how would I feel?’. I’ve thought of it every single day since last week when my grandma left for KWSH in the morning. I just can’t believe their children cannot find it in themselves to make sure their parents are able to depart happily and peacefully.

Fear. It is what the old people feel. Fear that they may fall asleep only to never wake up again, in a bed that isn’t theirs, with everyone but their family beside them. If you’ve watched or read A Christmas Carol, you’d know that when the ghost of the…well the third one, I forgot what he’s called Anyways, when he shows Stooge the body under the blanket, and no one is around the four-poster he’s lying in, yeah that scene is what these old people are afraid of. They’re afraid they’d leave this world being unloved.

I’ve got a new burden in my heart for these folks.